sweet smell of sunshine.

(no subject)

don't forget to bring a towel!

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Yeah. That's all.

Davey = sex


Oh God. Today was, like, the epitome of horrible days. Like, seriously. By the end, things didn't end up being too bad, but just... ugh.

I got up around, like, 1:15. Ha, cuz I didn't go to bed last night til, like... I don't even know. 3:30 or so, maybe. Or maybe later than that. Blah. I don't know.

But I still somehow managed to barely get to work on time. Yeah. So.. blah. Work started off like usual. It was pretty busy, since it was a weekend and it was nice out and all... Blah.

Yeah. But it ended up being just like last week. Ryan started criticizing me for every little thing I did wrong. It's like... I don't know. It's just the way he talks to me. He gets all mean about it. I don't know. It just makes me hate myself even more. And also makes me not want to listen to him. Which pisses HIM off even more, etc. Yeah. So I hate myself.

And then finally I was scooping two quarts of ice cream for this bitchy lady and he started yelling at me about how I wasn't doing it right. And then he went on about how if I didn't want to listen and do things the right way I didn't have to work there and I could go clock out and go home. And... I don't know. He just was really mad and got this whole attitude about it, and he knows that's not gonna make me listen to him. And I told him that I wouldn't... I told him to go away cuz I was just going to ignore him. Bah. And I was standing there practically fucking crying while I was scooping ice cream, and my arm was killing me from scooping so much, and the lady was bitching at me and saying that I wasn't filling the quarts enough... and, bah. I just hate myself.

So Ryan, like, grabbed the stuff from me and said he'd finish it and fill them all the way and stuff. So I went and looked in the little thing where the wait staff people keep the silverware. And I took a knife and went downstairs in the basement. And Ryan opened the door behind me and asked what I was doing and I said I was getting more vanilla ice cream and he closed the door and went away.

So I got out another thing of the vanilla and left it on the freezer and then went around the corner and sat on a box and took off my glasses and put them on a thing of toilet paper or something. And there were a bunch of napkins there so I took some and started crying. And I took the knife and put it to my wrist but I didn't really do anything with it.

So I sat there for a few minutes like that. And then I left my glasses there and went to the room in the back of the basement, where we keep the plastic spoons and cups and stuff. And there was a chair back there so I sat down. And I put the knife to my wrist again and I knew I just wanted to kill myself. I pressed it down, and it left some marks, but I didn't draw blood or anything. And I just kinda kept crying and doing that. The knife had ridges and wasn't really very sharp, so all I really did was leave a few little marks there from where the ridge things had been embedded.

Blah. And then Ryan came in and found me and got all mad and started yelling and stuff and took the knife from me. And I just started crying more and made an ass of myself and he tried to hold me down and grab my wrist and stuff but I tried not to let him. So then he finally walked away and took the knife and said he was calling my parents. And I said that if he did I'd never talk to him again, and he said that was ok and walked away.

And... bah. I sat there a while more and then got up and decided to see if I could find any other sharp objects down there. So there was this wrench and I kind of squeezed my wrist between it, but all it did was leave some deeper marks. Bah. After a while Sarah came down to see if I was ok and I said I was.

So, yeah. I stayed down there for a while and then finally came up and stayed there in the back room upstairs for a while. And Jeff kept bugging me and asking if I was ok and stuff, and bah. We talked and crap but not really cuz he had to wait tables and stuff. Myeh. And Stacie and Erin came back cuz they had to do stuff and told me how much of an asshole Ryan is. And Stacie asked why I was even with him and I said cuz I can't get anything better.

Blah. And my parents came and Ryan came back there and told me I had to leave and then we just started arguing again and I knew he frickin hated me.

And I told him I wasn't going to leave and it turned into a big whole stupid thing. And Jeff came back a few more times and tried to be nice and all, but I was just like, Bah, go away. And I told him how I hated myself and how stupid my parents and everyone was for caring about me at all and he told me to shut up and stuff.

Yeah. And Sarah and Erin and Stacie asked if I was alright a few times, and I kinda just wanted to yell, 'Hello, I just tried to kill myself in the basement, what do you think?' But yeah. I didn't. Of course I said I was ok.

And I'm sure this whole fucking thing will be brought up with my therapist, but I should probably be able to convince everyone that it was nothing and I'm fine and I didn't really want to hurt/kill myself. You really can't see any marks left on my wrist. There's just a scar there from a few years ago when I got into a fight with my brother and he pushed me and I fell and cut my arms on these metal picture frame things sitting on my floor, so yeah.

Myeh. And he kept trying to tell me that I had to fucking leave with my parents and I kept refusing and telling him to go away. And he and Jeff kept saying to at least go out there and talk to my parents and tell them I was ok and stuff, but I said that there was no way in hell that I was going to talk to them.

So, bah. This went on for a while. I said I'd go back out there and work, but not til my parents were gone. And I guess they finally said they would leave and Ryan could give me a ride home that night, even though he was pissed that he'd have to stay til closing cuz he wanted to go home and get the hell away from me. Bah.

Yeah. And he said that he'd have to clock me out until I went back out there, but I said I was about to go back out, so he said ok. But I thought I should clock myself out anyway, cuz I had kinda just been standing there for a while not working, so I didn't deserve to get paid for it. Hell, I didn't deserve to get paid for anything. Ha, I never clocked back in, so I ended up working like two or three hours for free. Yay for me. I also refused to take any of my tips, so I guess Ryan has them... yeah.

So. I worked the rest of the night. And Ryan went out and then came back. And... blah. I didn't want to talk to him or anything, so I just did what I had to. And... blah. Yeah. I know you don't wanna hear anymore.


So in the car he was all trying to talk to me and stuff and I didn't answer or anything cuz I had promised him that I'd never talk to him again. So, of course, that pissed him off even more. And he kept talking and asking stuff and trying to guilt me into talking and explaining things, but I kinda just sat there and smiled and laughed. And he kept saying stuff like, 'Oh, I guess your giving me the silent treatment is more important than our relationship.' And I kinda felt like responding with something like, 'You know, you really sound like an ass sitting there talking to yourself like that.' But, er, yeah, I didn't.

Blah. So he drove to Hockhockson and kept trying to get stuff out of me and make me feel guilty and stuff. And it's weird cuz he had, like, no clue what had happened or why I did what I did and kept asking me to explain stuff to him. He kept saying how he was just trying to help me with my job and stuff (by yelling and criticizing me about how incompetent I am) and that I needed to handle the criticism better and stuff, but... I dunno. I don't think he understands exactly how he sounds when he does criticize me about my job and stuff. Like... he just gets so vicious about it. Seriously. Like, I don't know how else to describe it. Like I had done something to really offend him or something. And it makes me feel really crappy. It's not the fact that he's criticizing me or anything, it's just the way that he does it... he kept saying that he was trying to help me and stuff... but the approach he was taking was totally not helping.

Bah. Of course, I didn't say any of that to him. And now he'll probably read this here and get all mad at me for that and start a whole new argument... but whatever. Bah.

So, yeah. We sat in the car for a while. And I slid down really far in the seat, cuz I kept seeing the reflection of my thighs in the windows and they're so big and gross and just looking at them seriously made me want to puke. So, yeah. I slid them down like all the way under the thing in the front of the car... um yeah. And that really made my back hurt like hell, but whatever.

So we sat there and I cried and stuff cuz I'm a loser and it all ended up being stupid and emotional and I didn't want to say anything to him cuz that would be giving in. And the last thing I wanted was to show how weak I am and give in. Bah. Like, half the time I just kept thinking about how much I just wanted to hug him and cry on his shoulder, but I wouldn't let myself.

And he kept saying like, 'Well, I guess you don't want to be with me then,' and I was like, 'Shut up,' and... bah. I don't know. Things ended up being ok. But I fucking want what I deserve. And I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anything. Why the hell did he even forgive me for any of this? It's so dumb, and I hate myself. And I'm glad that things are good between us now, but... blah.

Yeah. And none of that making-up stuff was as easy or quick as I just made it sound, but whatever, you don't care.

Blah... yeah. Stuff happened and it was cool. And then, being the bitch I am, I made him take me to 7-11 cuz I was really thirsty and that was like the only place in the world that was open. So, yeah, I got some frozen coffee-ish thing... I don't remember the name of it, but it was like French vanilla flavored or something and it was pretty good. And I felt bad cuz I hadn't really gotten my dad anything for Father's Day. I didn't even send him a fucking e-card or anything cuz I'm an ungrateful little bitch. So I bought him two Pay Day bars, cuz that's his favorite candy... even though it was already after midnight so it technically wasn't Father's Day anymore.

Myeh. I could say more about that but I'll save it til another time.

And I got home and my parents were really pissed cuz it was so late. And they made a whole huge deal about it and said they were all worried and Ryan's dad was all worried and blah... can't they just fucking accept that I have a job that isn't always going to allow me to be home early? Bah.

And, um, yeah. A.F.I. has made me feel a bit better, I guess. I made myself some macaroni and cheese and it was really good. Heh. And I kinda wouldn't mind some more pasta right now, but it's kinda four in the morning, so... I don't know. Bah, I still didn't get any work done. Everyone's gonna kill me tomorrow.

I hate myself.

Myeh. I'm fairly sure that by the end of this year I will have found a way to kill myself that I can get away with and can actually get myself to carry out, but... myeh.

Whateverness. I still love Ryan even though he should hate me... and I'm still determined to do whatever I can to get him to hate me, and I won't stop until he does, cuz that's what I deserve... but whatever.

I think I might attempt to go possibly get an hour or two of sleep. Maybe I could get one of my parents to drive me to school tomorrow so I can sleep an extra, like, five minutes. Bah. Or maybe I should call Ryan in the morning and see if he'll give me a ride, even though my parents probably won't even let me go with him.

Bah. I really want to post a superly sexy Davey pic here, but I don't feel like taking the time right now, so... tomorrow (er, today). Yeah.

And of course, throughout this entire entry, today = yesterday.


Goodnight (morning) everyone. Ha... the sun will be up in like an hour and a half. I can't wait til school's out so I can be completely nocturnal all the time...

Time~ 4:09am
  • Current Music
    A.F.I. - This Time Imperfect
Davey = sex

Yes. Yes, of course.

Collapse )

Bah... the following surveys pissed me off. Whoever made them has no concept of grammar whatsoever. Yeah, and most of the results that went along with the questions were totally obvious... but I'm gonna post them anyway, just cuz I'm a loser and it's A.F.I. (with grammar corrections, of course... bah.)

The Daveyness.
Aren't you just so cute when you're all mopey and sad
like that? You're Davey Havok! You're the amazingly
talented lead singer of A Fire Inside!
Don't be mistaken, just cause you're hot doesn't mean
you aren't really smart too!

What member of AFI are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

God, that was lame. But it's Davey... <3 :-P

WOW... this one actually didn't say 'your' instead of 'you're'... Holy crap.
You are Days of the Phoenix! You are very happy
and in love. Hold your chin high and don't let
anyone get you down!

Which AFI song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're 'Dancing Through Sunday', you're depressed and
you find beauty in the path of sorrow.

Which Sing The Sorrow (AFI) Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yes. Blah. More in a bit. (Maybe.)

I fucking hate my internet connection.

Time~ 12:50am
  • Current Music
    A.F.I. - This Time Imperfect
Davey = sex

If only pure sweetness was offered...

Ha. The really old ep of Rugrats is on, when they go to the bank and the ATM machine shred's up Tommy's mom's card and Tommy and Chuckie go around everywhere looking for candy...

Yeah. Haha. 'Great-grandmother's maiden name.' I love this one. I miss the good old days of nicktoons. Everyone should join </a></b></a>oldschoolnick.


Anyways... yesterday was a pretty cool-ass day.

And I just made myself some pasta and it didn't boil over this time. Haha. Yay. I'm obsessed with pasta...

Bah. Food is evil though.

Yeah. So yesterday was cool, despite the fact that I totally screwed up a pre-calc test, which I hadn't studied for at all even though I had kinda actually planned to do so. Bah.

Yeah. And it was Friday the 13th. Gym class was really dumb. This time we had to try to hit the whiffle golf balls into open upside-down umbrellas. And it was funny cuz we had umbrellas opened indoors and it was Friday the 13th... ummm, yeah.

And I went to work and it was boring cuz the weather was crappy-ish so hardly anyone came for ice cream.

But Mike and Maisa came to visit and got ice cream and it was really cool. Thanks a lot, guys. :-)   Even though I totally screwed up Burns's sundae and further proved how incompetent I am at my job. Blah. Sorry.

Myeh. And I had some ice cream, and then decided to pour myself some coffee (cuz I wanted caffiene) and put some ice cream with it. Cuz some lady asked for that last week... she wanted an ice cream soda but asked for it to be made with coffee, and I thought that that sounded good... yeah. And I felt really sick after that. Bah.

And, being the dumbass I am, I had left my backpack and pants in Ryan's car when he had dropped me off. So he ended up having to pick me up from work even though he had originally said that he couldn't.

Myeh. And, of course, the ice cream window *suddenly* got really busy right before we were ready to close. Bah. Evilness.

And then Micah told me that we had to keep the window open til 10 instead of 9. And I was like, grr, wtf? And supposedly the other ice cream place near us stays open til 10, so we have to match them. Bah. (Of course, as far as my parents know, I didn't get out of there til 11:something...)

And I was pissed cuz I went through all this trouble to clean the milkshake machine and everything else... and then this big group of people came and like ordered a whole bunch of milkshakes.

Bah. When we could finally leave, Ryan and I and a few other people went over to Craig's house for a little while cuz we heard that some people were gonna be chilling there and having a few drinks. And I tried to make Micah take a few bucks' worth of my tips cuz he had been helping me out all night even though he wasn't really supposed to be working, but he wouldn't take it. Bah. Isn't he mean?

Yeah. And I randomly started to have, like, really bad heart pain. And that wasn't cool. And I thought that I wasn't in the mood to drink or anything cuz of it, but... blah. I don't know.

When we got there, Micah was sitting at a laptop playing music and stuff. So I stole it from him when he got up to go do something. And I played some Sublime and other stuff. And I played spider solitaire. Yay. So after a little while I finally decided to put on an A.F.I. CD, and I didn't care whether anyone else cared or not. So ha.

And I kinda felt like putting on Black Sails, but I had left that at home in my computer, so I put on Art of Drowning. And yeah. Ryan started talking about how cool it was to see them live. And other people were like, 'Who is this?' And Ryan said that he thought that he and I were like the only people there who knew who A.F.I. was. And Micah. And I was like, 'OMG, how the hell could you live without A.F.I.??'

Yeah. I don't get it. Blah.

So I had two Smirnoff Ices and a Mike's hard lemonade. Yay. Notihng too major, cuz they're only, like, 5% alcohol. And the only other stuff they had was regular beer, which is gross. Bah.

Ha. Like, a year ago, when I still weighed like 85 pounds, like, just two Smirnoff Ices or Mike's would've gotten me pretty drunk. Ha. But the three of them affected me a little... like, I wasn't really drunk... I don't know. It didn't really help that I hadn't felt too well beforehand... myeh.

Ha, the only problems are that when I drink, I always have to burp and pee a lot... ha. Not like anyone needed to know that. It's kinda gross.

So, yeah. We went to Hockhockson afterwards and surprisingly the lights were on in the bathroom and the door was unlocked. Heh, reminded me of when I went there with Danielle last summer and we went in the bathroom and locked the door so no one could come in and mixed beer and soda together in water bottles. o__O

Umm, yeah. So things were cool. I think my parents were pretty pissed that I got home so late. Like, it wasn't much before 12. They're like, 'You can't be out this late every Friday, cuz we don't wanna hafta go out to pick you up that late.'

And I tried to explain that they didn't have to worry, cuz Ryan had driven me home anyway, but... bah. I hate my parents. They're being really bitchy today.

Myeh. Yeah. Stuff's going on with TNQ. Rikku has to, like, move the whole MB to the VDA server. We might have to start everything over yet again... blah. Oh well. I still have a super cool sig which I should still be able to use... so that's what matters... er, right?

Ha. I'm a loser.

What else? I slept til after 12 today. It was nice. My parents tried to make me get up to get some work done, but I told them to leave me alone. Bah. I didn't get up til they left to go to the supermarket. So bah.

Myeh. Yeah. I have work tomorrow so I should get some stuff done today. Yeah...

Ok. Myeh. I think I'll shut up. I'm gonna post again in a bit. Yay.

And I think I should put some pics and stuff here, since I didn't have time to yesterday. *___*


Countdown til PotC:   25 days

Random Davey Pic of the Moment:

God, I love this pic. His hair looks so sexy...

Time~ 3:53pm
  • Current Music
    A.F.I. - No Poetic Device
sweet smell of sunshine.

< Le titre devrait être ici. >

Urgh. Dammit, not again. I have way too much shit to write about.

Hmm. Wednesday was full of boringness like usual. We were lucky that McQuillan didn't make us take the All the President's Men quiz. (Not like it matters, of course, since we just had to take it the next day and I didn't read the book so I still failed anyway.) Yeah. And Alex stole my My Lai presentation cuz he was also doing it for history.

Myeh. What else? Math kinda sucked, I think. We're starting to do some calculus-ish stuff. Bah. I should scan what I did during that class, it was fun...

Yes. And then history. Yay.

Ryan was staying after school to do his crap with all his loser friend people. Haha. I decided to stay and wait til they were done at 4, cuz I didn't really feel like going home. So I chatted with Burns and Derek for a while cuz their bus was late, and then I went to the open lab in 180 and it was kind of boring. So around 3:50 I decided to go to the commons to get me some coffee.

Haha. I got a white chocolate latte and a snickers bar for Ryan. It was a whole five cents cheaper than at the vending machine at school. Yay.

It was funny cuz the guy who works at the counter there recognized/remembered me cuz I always pay for everything with change. And he was like, 'Where do you get all this change from?' So I told him that I got it from tips where I work. Ha, and I kind of was thinking of purchasing another box of condoms, but I thought that that would look weird since the guy there remembered me and all. Heh, I wonder what he'd think if I bought another box of them after I had just bought one the day before...

Myeh. Yeah. We drove Mottola home after that and then tried to go to the bank again only to find that it had closed at 4. Bah. So we went into Nagle's to get food and I had too much ice cream cuz I'm a fat pig. Myeh.

So, um, yeah. I was said cuz he had to drop me off at home right away after that and we couldn't spend any more time together.

Yeah. So I went home and did some stuff and I think I decided to sleep around 8:something and I didn't feel like waking up later even though I had set my alarm clock. Blah.

Yes. That was my Wednesday. Oh, what fun.

Thursday. Thursday wasn't too bad, I suppose. That was yesterday... ummmm, yeah. Yes it was.

In the morning Mrs. Thorpe told me that I'm fat. Well... she didn't say that directly. But what she said indicated that it's true. Bah. Myeh. I know it anyway.

And, er, ITE was dumb. WE had to make a barrier out of paper to stop a little plastic truck going down a ramp.

Heh, then we went on the computers. Yeah. I did LJ stuff and posted at TNQ and looked up a bit of stuff for my English project, but I really didn't feel like doing any work.

Myeh. And my eye was really hurting me so I had to find a bathroom and go fix my contact lens. Excitement.

Yes. Then went to the commons with Maisa. And I got a Heath mocha and this breakfast cookie-ish thing. It was ok. Heh, still didn't buy more condoms... maybe next week.

Yeah. And I'm definitely a fat pig. I felt sick after eating that.

Then we played asshole with Joe Hall, Adam, Phil, and Paul Tai, but it wasn't much fun cuz I suck.

So, bah. I walked back to school. Ryan had activity and I went and whined to him about how fat and gross I am and how sick I felt, cuz I'm a loser-y bitch like that. And Mrs. Lyons frickin came and yelled at us for hugging and said it was inappropriate. She said we could sit next to each other and hold hands and that was it. Bah. She can be almost as much of a bitch as me sometimes.

Ha. And Rob DeCotiis was like, 'Yeah, nevermind the fucking that goes on on the tech lab stairs.' Haha. That was, like, over two years ago and people still talk about it. Bah.

And the loser seniors hung a Twister board from the ceiling and hung a piece of plexiglass behind it and hoped that people would walk through and hit their head on the plexiglass. Myeh. They got a few people. It was pretty dumb. Ha, it was funny when Liddy came by, though. She asked why the Twister board was hanging there and the seniors said that they had been playing twister on the wall. And she was so like, 'Ohhh, so if your hand's supposed to be down there and your leg's supposed to be up there, do you have to do a handstand?' like, all believing it and stuff. So everyone was like, 'Yep. Now go away.'

Bah. I suck.

English was blah. French was fun. We watched the end of that movie and then had to write something that I still never finished. Bah. Ha. And people were laughing at me cuz I was writing about how much I love Davey on my paper (something else I need to scan). Haha. 'Twas great. I made a big heart and wrote Davey's name in it. And then I wrote, 'J'aime Davey. Je veux coucher avec lui.' Ha. (Look it up if you don't know.)

Myeh. Ryan had to bring me home, like, immediately after school yesterday. Which made me very sad.

Er, and then I decided to make myself some pasta. Except... Urgh, I'm such an idiot. Damn chemistry, the water always boils, like, as soon as I walk away and start doing something else. Seriously, like, a minute after I left the pot to go do something really quick on the computer in the family room, I heard it boiling over in the kitchen, and I was like, 'Oh, shit.' So I ran to it and moved the pot to a different burner and put in the pasta. Then I had to clean the other burner. And, er, you know that metal thing that goes over the burner, that you put the pot on and stuff? Yeah. I don't know remember what you call it. But I had to move it so that I could wipe up the stuff that had boiled over. And, being the complete and utter idiot that I am, I neglected to use a potholder or anything and simply picked the thing up with my bare thumb and index finger.

And, like, ow! I burned my fingers really badly. I ran them under cold water for a minute and then held an ice cube between them for a while. But yeah. Now the skin there is all weird. It doesn't really hurt anymore, the skin is just, like... hardish. I dunno. Yea. Should making scooping ice cream fun.

Eh. Went to the therapist yesterday as well. Parents bitched about me. I talked about stuff. It was good.

Erm... I didn't go to bed til like 2:30 last night. Yet I still didn't get any work done. Yeah. I think I'm, like, the only person who could do that.


But I was in a good mood yesterday cuz I made some cool graphics. I made a kinda neat Jade icon for someone. It was cool cuz I experimented with some stuff and I don't think it turned out TOO bad. Heh. And I made a birthday cardish thing for orlizfan. :-)

Yes. Like you all care.

But making graphics is fun. Hella fun.

Myeh. I haven't really watched any anime in a long time. Bah.

But today's been a fairly good day, with the exception of the fact that my mom sucks.

And in pre-calc Dr. Eng completely flipped out on Sonny. Like... whoa. He was supremely pissed. It was rather amusing. You know, because it was Dr. Eng and all.

And I have to go to work today. Yay!

Myeh. I'm still a bit upset that Ryan had time to go to Caitlyn's house yesterday yet didn't have time to hang out with me. But whatever.

Life's not all that bad, I suppose.

Bah. This is really disgustingly long. Forgive me.

  • Current Mood
    rushed rushed
sweet smell of sunshine.

::Gasp:: Is it possible that for once my subject title isn't some random A.F.I. lyrics?!

Woo-hoo for A.F.I.!!! Yayness!!!
you love afi. you are obsessed. you know that they
are the best, most unique and talented band
there has ever been or ever will be. good for

how well do you know afi?
brought to you by Quizilla

Haha. Well, duh.

But anyways... yeah. God, today has been great.

Oh, and, uh, yeah... today = yesterday. You know, for convenience and all.


Like, seriously, though... things have never been so great.

I love my friends so much. You guys are awesome and I don't know what I'd do without you. All of you... even those who I hardly really know. Thanks.

Heh. So, erm, yeah. Today started out alright, I suppose. Mmm. We had an open-book test in Health. On AIDS and stuff like that. Joy.

And then we went to ITE and it was full of boringness. Ha, we had to design a frickin shopping cart. Well, we watched some video first, er, except no one was actually watching it. Yeah. I kinda just sat there and listened to A.F.I. and worked on my Welsh learning. And then Maisa, Burns, and I had to come up with our exciting shopping cart ideas. Ha, we actually came up with something really cool... It's like, a shopping cart that scans your stuff for you, and then gives you a receipt... so you just pay when you're done shopping and don't have to spend tons of time waiting in line and stuff. And it was sexy. Really sexy... like, the sexiest shopping cart you've ever seen.

Oh hell yeah.

Myeh. Then we went in the hallway and played some asshole.. Maisa, Adam, me, and... bah, why can't I remember who the hell else was there?

Myeh. So, yeah. And then some of them felt like leaving so Maisa and I went into the computer lab there and did LJish stuff.

Erm, then we all went to the commons. And I, like, stood there and watched Maisa, Andrew, Joe Hall, Harris, and Erica play more asshole. Heh, it got rather boring for me after a while, but whatever. It was cool cuz we got there at like... I dunno, a little after 10. And we didn't have to be back at school til like 11:50.

So, yeah. Coolness. So when they all decided to go get something to eat, I went into the convenience store. Eh. I got an iced mocha. It was ok, but not great. Ha, that convenience store is, like, my new favorite place.

And I saw some biscotti that they had in, like, all these different flavors. My parents really like biscotti, so I decided to get them some, as a little gift or whatever. You know, to make it look like I'm a nice person or something, even though I'm really not... yeah.

So I went to pay for it and I finally got the courage to ask the guy at the counter place for a box of condoms. Haha... Go me! Lol. Of course, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to tell you that I no longer have this box in my possession for certain reasons or another... so I won't. o__O

Haha. And then Jon came and was surprised that I had actually bought them... he told me I was bad. Ha. He should be talking.


Yeah... random evil laugh.

Anyways. Er, yeah. History was semi-boringness. Well, not really... eh, it was at first, I guess. And then we went to 170 to do research on civil rights stuff... haha. 'Research.' Right. Yup. We sure had a fun time there.

Then there was activity, and we couldn't go to room 210 or 185 like usual, so we went to 180, but we had to be all quietish and crap cuz of the dumb sophomores and their exam. Blah. We had more funness there. Haha.

And then after school I stood in the parking lot chatting with Maisa for a while... A long time, actually. Cuz Taylor decided to randomly wander off with Pedersen for some random reason for quite a while. Heh. So, yeah. We talked and stuff and it was superly cool except for the fact that there was dirt blowing all over the place and crap from the people paving the Brookdale roads. Bah.

Myeh. So Ryan and I finally left and we went to my house cuz he wanted something to eat or whatever. And we watched some TV and looked at LJ stuff and crap. And I got my checks cuz we had been planning to go to the bank but we didn't.

Myeh. We finally left around, like... I don't even know. 4:something-or-other. Yeah. And, um, yeah. Mmhmm.... Except we didn't end up going to the bank. Darn.

Myeh. And I came home and went online and did crap that I shouldn't've been doing because I should be doing homework. But whatever.

And then a bunch of stupid shit happened cuz people in general just suck. But none of that matters... cuz life is good.

Ha. Seriously. I swear, I've got to be bipolar or something. I dunno... I mean, I still, like, totally hate myself and want to kill myself and all. But... God, things are just pretty damn great right now.

I have my Fluffy... and he's just wonderful and I love him more than anything... (Even if he does want to have sex with Vin Diesel... myeh, hell, I want to have sex with Davey, so I suppose I can't get mad at him for that, can I? @__@)

And I have super great friends. Maisa, I love you... you're, like, the only really close friend I have right now and you're awesome. :-)

And Burns, thanks for everything. You've been super cool and nice.

And to all of you... All the friends I've made here... Some of you I don't know very well... but I'm grateful to all of you. Seriously, you just make my life better. It's nice to know that there are some people who at least kind of give a damn. Heh. But really... thanks to you, I actually have people who comment in my journal and stuff, and that's really cool. Even if it's just to make a quick remark about how incredibly sexy my Orlando and Davey pics are (^__^)... it still means a lot. Haha, this sounds so lame, but it's true.

So, just thanks. I just wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate them.

And to all the people who hate me... Myeh. I suppose you have every reason to. And don't worry, I probably will still end up killing myself one day. But I promise that when I do, it will have nothing to do with any of you. So, sorry.


I feel like making some cool Davey-ish graphics or something... but I should probably get started on some work so the teachers, guidance counselors, and Simon don't kill me. Bah.

Blah, this entry's way too long (again). And there was something else I was going to say... er. I don't know. Oh well. Myeh.


Countdown til PotC:   28 days

Random Orli Pic of the Moment:

AHHH I so love that outfit...

Random Davey Pic of the Moment:

Eeep, Davey with no shirt!! :-D

Bah. Damn Angelfire.

Time~ 2:23am
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